ADAM TO EVE

(Verses written by Men on women they love)

DO YOU WRITE POEMS?

(By Aloke Kumar, Professor of Communication, IIM)

She asked me, ‘Do you write poems?’

Yes, and destroy them,

I am an unpublished poet.

I write for myself,

Yes, and destroy them.

I believed when I entered poetry

I was escaping from myself.

But alas! Poor me, I brought myself with me!

I like to deconstruct myself,

That is part of my living.

You invented me.

There is no such earthly being,

Such an earthly being there could never be.

A poet cannot comfort,

A shadowy apparition haunts me night and day.

We met in an unbelievable year,

Everything withered with adversity,

Without streetlights, the waves were black as pitch.

That’s when your voice called out to me!

Why it did? Still don’t understand.

And you came to me, in winter,

Creating a flock of verse.

You’ll drown in my love story

When I will write using the pen you gifted me.

I will, from now always read with a pen in my hand,

As if the I, am in a conversation with You.

You don’t love someone because they’re a dream of perfection.

You love them because of the way they meet their challenges.

How they struggle to overcome.

You love them because

Together you bring out the best.

In each other,

It will always be enough.

You don’t have to say everything to be right.

Sometimes, a fire kindled will alight an interest.

All true friendliness begins with

Fire and food and drink and recognition.

Each human soul in a sense to enact for itself.

The gigantic humility of the incarnation.

After all, I am meeting her after a hundred years.

You must descend from heaven to meet her.

There was a time before you,

But I can’t remember it now….

A time before your beauty and I were formally introduced,

I’m sure I lived without you,

But I don’t remember how…

Or can’t imagine living without these feelings.

The celebrations of secret non-meetings are empty.

Unspoken conversations, unuttered words.

Glances that don’t intersect.

Don’t know where to come to rest.

And only the words rejoice,

Because they can flow and flow.

Somehow it is here,

Love eternal.

I’m not sentimental, I’m romantic.

The idea, you know,

Is the sentimental person thinks things will last.

The romantic has a desperate confidence

That they won’t.

We learned not to meet anymore.

But we ourselves do not know,

What happened in that hour.

That’s the ideal meeting…

Once upon a time,

Only once,

Unexpectedly,

Then never again.

(Aloke is an incorrigible romantic and his romanticism 
gets reflected in the above verse) 

SUBARNAREKHAR TEEREY

(By Pallab Bhattacharya, GM-Head CC, ONGC )

Oder naam chilo Kanu..Shamu..Baha

Ba amoni kichu...

Naam aar mone nei...

Ora sonar gunri kurote jeto subarnorekhar teerey

Oi daridra khudarto mukh gulote

Sudhu chhilo jaljale duto chokh..

Saradin bali chenke jeto,

Jodi ek kana shona ashe.

Kono konodin karo mukhe

Anander teebro chitkar shona jeto...

Paichi go.. Paichi..

Na paoa eksho jora chokh

Hingsaye takiye thakto.

Tarpor abar matha nichu kore

Bali chenke jaoa…

Omon bhabei shirno Subarnorekha

Sonar kana boye aane...

Swapno aar icche gulo banchiye rakhte.

Oi kichhui na pawa shirnokaye manushgulor modhye.

Shomoy hoito bodleche...

Bodleche manush gulor naam gulo...

Dilip, Shyamal, Lakhsmi….

Othoba omoni sahure naam.

Kintu badlaini aar kichhui,

Ajo shirno dirno manush gulo

Roj kakbhore chole ashe subarnorekhar pashe...

Bali chankte chankte swapno dekhey,

Bharpet ek bela bhaat khawar swapno...

(Pallab writes this Bengali verse on tribal women who look for gold
along the banks of Subarnarekha)

Akeli Mein

(By Subham Bandopadhyay, Program Manager

with leading global IT company)

आज मैं अकेला

न है कोई आसपास,

लेता हूँ मैं साँस

पर प्यार का मुझे है आस

दफना हुआ दिल,

न प्यार के काबिल

धीमी सी आवाज़,

करती है आगाज़

प्यार ले लो अपना,

न टूटे अपना सपना

तू मुझे न छोड़,

मैं करता हूं शोर

मेरी बातों मे है जहर,

पर प्यार का लहर

(Subham writes verses as a pastime, this one in Hindi)

AN ODE TO EVE

(Four poems written in different languages on women

by women from across the world): ANANYA BANERJEE, SUSHMITA GUPTA, SAHELI MITRA & RITU SINGH

SILENCE

(by Saheli Mitra, journalist, author and blogger)

Tears glistened down those pink cheeks

That blossomed like a blooming bud..

As your harsh hands groped through her dignity,

Your savage teeth bit through her teats, till they bled.

Yet, she stood silent,

The deepest silence of a grave.

The rude darkness of a lost womb.

She should have screamed,

The painful scream of a labour room,

Fought and kicked,

Shaking off the hard flesh that

Tore her apart bit by bit

Digging at the groins that pinned her down.

Yet she was silent,

The silence before a storm,

The darkness of a moonless night.

And as you hurt her more and more,

Her staring silence lashed at you.

Like the whip of a sting ray,

Cutting across your sweaty flesh

Pinning you

Drawing you into her maze,

And you never found a way out.

Are you still lost in those dewdrops

That fall on the leaves?

Mirroring her pain and your triumph?

Did you win,

Did you kill,

Did u survive,

O Man?

GODDESSES ALL

(by Sushmita Gupta, artist from Muscat, who also writes poetry)

I do not live in a temple,
I never will.
All that incense,
Those offerings,
The sweetmeats,
The saris,
The garlands,
The flowers,
Were never for me.
For, I am,
Only an essence,
A feeling,
A chant,
And a fragrance.

I am a goddess.
I am every woman. 

I am the one you raped,

The one you loved,

The one you beat and bruised,

The one you married,

The one you cheated on.

The one you fathered,

The one you brothered.

The beggar,

The prostitute,

The mother,

The destitute.

The beauty,

The beast,

The faulty,

The diseased.

The sought,

The ignored,

The bought,

The abhorred.

I am every woman.

I am the goddess,

You seek in the temples.

EKTI MEYER ITI KATHA

 (by Ananya Banerjee, chemical engineer from Manchester UK)

(Bengali verse in English script)

Ami ek sadharon meye 

Aatharo bochhorey paa dewar agei

Jiboney pelaam matritwer swad,

Chhotto Ethan ke bukey niye 

Aamar ekla poth chola shuru. 

Baditey Ma shojyashayee ..... MS last stage

Babar onyo sansar sagar paarey,

Dine y Waitrose e sadharon chakri

Aar ratey podashona. 

Aaj beesh bochhor por

Amar chhotto Ethan mohiruho, 

Aami aajo swapno dekhi 

Kobita portey bhalobashi, 

Opekshaye thaki cherry blossom aar daffodil er ashaye

Aami banchtey bhalobashi

Aami ek sadharon meye. 

-मुझे मैं बने रहने दो

(by Ritu Singh, a student from  Dhanbad, Jharkhand)

(Hindi verse)

मुझे मैं बने रहने दो

सुनो तुम

मुझे मै ही रहने दो |

न बांधो मेरा दायरा

न रोको मेरी राहें

यूँ पुरुषार्थ का अपने

अनुचित इस्तेमाल न करो

बेबुनियादी दलीलों से अपनी मेरा रुख न मोड़ो |

क्या हो जायगा गर

मैं रहु बनकर मैं

न ढलु तुम्हारे वेश में

गाऊ अपने ही गीत

नाचू अपने धुनों पे |

देखलू मैं सारी खुशियाँ

जीलू अपनी दुनिया

जीलू अपनी दुनिया

राहों पे अपनी चलु

मंज़िल को अपनी पहुचु

अपनी मर्ज़ी से हसु

मर्ज़ी से रोलु |

तुम न टोको बनके जल्लाद

न गलत ठहराओ मुझे दिन रात

मेरे कपडे कैसे हो तुम न तय करो

मुझे मन से मेरे पढ़ने दो

या जो क्षेत्र चाहू वो चुनने दो

मै नाचू

मैं गाऊ

खिलाड़ी बन मैदान पे जाऊ

नर्तकी बन नृत्य दिखालाऊ

कलाकार बन कला बिखेरु

लेखिका बन कई लेख लिखू

गृहणी बन गृह सम्भालू

मैं जिस ओर चाहू मुड़ जाऊ |

अपनी इच्छाएं मुझपे न थोपो

मेरे बढ़ते कदमो को अब न रोको

रास्ते में मेरी कांटे न बिखेरो

मैं जी सकती हूँ बनकर मैं

तय कर सकती हूँ हर फासला

रोक लुंगी मैं आँधियाँ

जीतूंगी लड़कर चाहे जितनी हो कठिनाइया

मुझे डंके की चोट पे जीने दो |

सुनो तुम

मुझे मैं ही बने रहने दो

मेरी जिंदगी जी लेने दो 

THE FIRST ALL WOMEN GROUP OF INDIAN NAGA SADHVIS

(Will India’s spiritual domain be taken over by women as nude female sadhus form an all women akhada for the first time?)

It was a small dark room beside the famous Radhu Babu’s tea stall in the Lake Market area of Kolkata. A couple of years back I was called over by a famous city artist to meet the head of Juna Akhada. I couldn’t resist the temptation to go. Juna Akahada is the order of the famous Naga Sadhus of India (nude hermits) who are said to have overcome all the attachments of human life including lajja or shame and hence can go around without clothes. Had read long back in Samaresh Basu’s Amrita Kumbher Shandhane that these sadhus are also known for their violent attitude, they don’t mix with the general crowd and they are given  priority to take the first dip in the Holy Ganges during Kumbh Mela, in fear of the violent ruckus they might throw in if they are not allowed.

Needless to say I was well prepared to view some ash-smeared naked hermit with a rough and violent gaze. Waiting and talking to the artist over a cup of tea I jumped from my seat as the door opened and in came two secret service agent-looking bodyguards just like the ones I had seen in White House Down. And yes, they had walkie-talkies in hand, head shaven, handsome and muscular, typically encapsulated in a Nordic face. In the mayhem that followed in that tiny room, I was left dazed as after them entered a towering man clad in long colourful robes and a smiling face looking around as I was introduced to Soham Baba, the 1008 Mahamandeleshwara of Juna Akhada.

Typically I closed my hands in a namaste style, when to my utter dismay I realised the head of the Naga Sadhus has indeed embraced my hands in an atypical handshake. And was it my imagination? He held my hands a bit too long! I was obviously speechless not because I was viewing right infront of me a demi-god styled Naga Sadhu but because I had some other perception of sadhus.

With an Apple Macbook opened infront, the next few hours he went on to explain how he left home in Nadia of West Bengal and finally landed up in the Juna Akahada and how he now heads the whole clan of the one of the most famous order of Hindu spirituality. He was accompanied by an extremely pretty woman younger to me who I realised was from Holland and working on the Macbook showing us several photographs and texts on how Soham Baba and his clan has left a mark in other countries.

The feminist that I am, I asked him point blank: “Is she your Naga Sadhvi?” Baba was taken aback. He looked at me with that deep penetrating, and well should I say somewhat mischievous and sexy look and said she is like his daughter and clarified that Naga Sadhus are unique. Women can never form or join such order. I was quite angry at this typical male chauvinistic remark and then remembered how the Vedic scriptures also speak of Brahmins forming their own rules in the society to typically keep away the females from leading any religious ceremonies. May be Soham Baba also suffered from that Vedic dilemma!

I gulped my own protest, I realised it would not be apt for such a forum and how could I say much when he outright singled me out and sent an invite to meet him at his Dehradun abode where he said he retired at times. I of course never accepted the invite, I had no intention of acquainting myself with mystic gurus, but all these years have waited for the news of an all-female akhada. How can spiritualism be only a man’s domain?

And well, such an order has been formed at last.

  

Hindu women have broken away from tradition and formed a new all-female sadhvi akhada in India that they hope will end male domination of spiritual practices. In the northern city of Allahabad a group of women sadhus formally established their group or akhada, holding ceremonies on the banks of River Ganges which is considered sacred by Hindus.

Their leader Mahant Trikal Bhavanta, spoke to the media this Friday. It is believed that her akhada is the first of its kind in the history of Hinduism in India.

An akhada is a group of sadhus, reclusive ascetics or wandering monks who renounce normal life and are often widely respected for their holiness. India has more than a dozen such groups, all male dominated.

According to some Hindu lore, it is believed that the first akhada was formed by Hindu philosopher Adi Shankaracharya in the eighth century with the aim of safeguarding the religion’s interests.

Bhavanta said the all-women group was facing criticism from male sadhus, who claim the move goes against age-old customs. But nowhere in the Hindu scriptures is it mentioned that women cannot have an akhada of their own. The women are facing criticism from men because the move ensures that women sadhus or sanyasins as they are popularly known as will also rise in the seers’ hierarchy and the subjugation of women in the akhada system run by men will end.

So long the trend was of widows turning sanyasins in quest for enlightenment renouncing their worldly pleasures. But now any female can join this all women akhada without any fear of getting bullied or taunted by their male counterparts or even be sexually targeted at times.

And what more, Bhavanta said her akhada will participate with its own flag in the Maha Kumbh Mela to be held in Nasik next year putting an end to age-old customs for sure. 

WANDERING GODDESS PARBATI

(Real life story of a woman who left a lucrative job to pursue her passion for travelling)

The embodiment of Shakti, the wife of Lord Shiva, Parvati, is said to have travelled Heaven and Earth in search of truth and wisdom, defeating evil, stamping the rule of the Lord. That’s what the Hindu mythology speaks of. But what’s it like to meet the ex-principal of a well-known international Bangalore school who gave up her plush job and pursued her life-long passion for travelling?

Parbati Bhattacharya happens to be that sweet, ever-smiling woman who started off her own travel company Wanderers’ Footprints after relocating to Delhi, and thought of sharing her passion with women across India. Along with Simonti Guhathakurta and Soma Mallik of Kolkata, she gave shape to her dreams with the setting of the All Women Travel Group WE (Women Explorers)
.

From its nascent journey, WE and Wanderers' Footprints have truly left a footprint in a country like India, where travelling for women has turned pretty unsafe in recent years with cases of women tourists being raped and murdered by rental car drivers or by hotel staff, on the rise. For Parbati and her friends, safety of women was the biggest challenge, how to keep their women groups happy, nestled away from the pangs of any possible danger. “A traveller or a tourist would always love to soak in the pleasures of the sight and sounds around, instead of being constantly on the guard about any impending danger. In fact the fear of such possible dangers can deter a woman from travelling and enjoying herself and even rob oneself of the pleasures of travel.”

True, there are instances where women travelling in groups have even been targeted, at times by street-side local Romeos passing lewd remarks or even attempting to molest. Keeping such instances at bay along with preparing the logistics is a herculean task indeed.  

For Parbati isn’t armed like Goddess Parvati, she has no supernatural powers to wade off evils, but she has the determination to give pleasure to hundreds of working women across India who wish to enjoy, travel and trek like their Western counterparts and fail to do so in fear of the insecurities along.

Long back as young adults we had all seen or heard of Tapan Sinha’s famous movie Adalat O Ekti Meye (The Court and One Woman). It was about a single woman travelling with her friends to the shores of the famous beach resort of Gopalpur, who unknowingly becomes the target of a group of youths and is raped mercilessly. The movie was quite a sensation then as a woman travelling alone or in ‘just women’ groups was unthinkable. 

Though times have changed and lots of women prefer travelling alone or in groups without their families at times to enjoy the ‘Me Time,’ the psyche of female tormentors has hardly changed. Else, how could a woman recently be raped by a hotel staff in one of the leading resorts of Kerala or another had to save herself by jumping off an Agra hotel? There is no guarantee that if one puts up in a star resort or hotel, she is completely safe. Hence women look for company on their journeys. That takes care of their safety as well as gives them the pleasure beyond their own family circle to enjoy with friends or with women who would later become their friends.   

By the time WE started there was another popular all women travel group called WOW (Women on Wanderlust) that was doing the rounds. But as Parbati puts in: “Honestly speaking I was not much aware of WOW. Since childhood, me, my mother and her colleague formed a team and travelled to various remote corners of India. Mother was my greatest inspiration. And then I met Soma di and Simonti and we all are now working as WE.”

Women travel groups have really become popular in India. Parbati feels lot of women are working and they do have disposable income at hand, they refuse to travel alone as they have safety concerns and they look for a group of likeminded women who would make best of travel mates.

The bookings are strictly done through professional hotel agents and transportation by known people who wouldn’t surely wish to lose constant business that they get from WE by compromising on the safety and security of the women. Hence WE ensures  safe travel groups, even if they want customised tour packages where may be one or two women wish to travel on their own.

Interestingly, Parbati finds women wishing to travel in her groups are never leisure travellers. She believes women have a natural instinct to explore unknown territories that was always thought to be the domain for men. “I have come across women clients even in their ’50s wishing to go on treks and adventure travels. We get all kinds of women from 25 to senior citizens and the kind of energy and enthusiasm they exude is unmatchable.” Historical destinations and places with a lot of sightseeing are the usual choice.

Before she starts off with the bookings, Parbati usually does a proper recee of the area, travelling herself, at times with her childhood buddy and husband Romit, her confidante and a great supporter in her endeavours. Though Romit would prefer his wife to do a job instead of running a business as it means a lot of physical and mental stress. Still he does encourage and so does her friends and family.

WE prefers using established brands, for car or hotel and that pushes the cost up at times. “That can’t be an excuse to compromise on the safety front.” 

But what she misses most in her WE travels is the lack of housewives. Her travel company Wanderer’s Footprints arranges for family groups but when it comes to WE, her clients are primarily the working class. “I would surely wish for more and more housewives to join us on our travels, but I realise their problems in leaving behind their kids and husbands who would certainly not wish to spend their money to buy a tour for the wife.” 

So WE is trying to include kids on the tours keeping in mind mothers who wouldn’t wish to leave behind their children. Boys upto 14 years are also entertained along with their mothers. 

And surely a future dream is to form a separate all women’s group for senior citizens who wish to travel at a relaxed pace. Parbati is now badly tied up with arranging logistics for the upcoming All Women Travel to the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan in April. For all the Eves who would love to join her do look up her website.

CAN RELIGION DECIDE HOW MANY KIDS A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE?

(Is the love for motherhood controlled by religious diktat?)

Every year Singh’s cows produced a bevy of calves, his goats were even more fertile with kids hopping and jumping out in abundance. He was a contended farmer, it meant more cows, more goats and more milk to be sold. And the wave of fertility didn’t remain confined to his farm only. Singh ensured to impregnate his wife Lajo almost every alternate year. He needed a houseful of sons to look after his farms. Lajo would produce son after son with a few daughters interspersed between or at times bloody and painful miscarriages. The health worker had once cautioned repeated pregnancies led to anaemia. Lajo indeed looked so pale. But Singh was unperturbed. So what? She can have iron tablets. After the birth of the fifth child Lajo even tried to undergo a ligation without telling her husband. But she was threatened she would be thrown out of the household if she did so, just like she was forbidden from using any contraception as her husband reminded her that would be against the religious texts. It would mean committing a great sin.

But how can religion be misinterpreted or misrepresented to dictate a woman’s child bearing needs. Isn’t forcing a woman’s body to repeated pregnancies against her wish, some of which can be life threatening and even lead to death, a sin? And how can politicians and religious leaders give diktats as to how many kids a woman should produce? For Singh, his wife Lajo was equivalent to his cows and goats, she was a producer. He never felt the pain that the woman went through delivery, he never realised how her body was drained off the vitamins and nutrition, how he was putting Lajo's life at risk every time Singh took pride in being the father again.

And such men are unfortunately influenced and encouraged to commit such sins by politicians and religious leaders. Sakshi Maharaj (a BJP Parliamentarian from Uttar Pradesh) recently goes on to say every Hindu woman must produce at least four kids. He even lays down the family planning, urging Hindu families to give one child to the army, one to religious leaders and to keep the other two for themselves. It’s almost like distributing finished products from a factory.  

If indeed Sakshi Maharaj was a true Hindu and would have read his religious scriptures properly he would have known that the oldest religion of the world was far more advanced and modern that he is today. The Upanishads clearly advocate birth control and even goes on to describe how one can practice contraception by using different sexual positions. Respected scholars like Gandhi advocated abstinence as a form of birth control, Radhakrishnan and Tagore encouraged use of artificial contraceptive means. The Vedantas and Buddhist texts state although fertility is important for conceiving more children, none should be forced to have more kids as that violates the fundamental concept of Ahimsa, an integral teaching of Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism alike.

Lajo had an urban match in Rubina, a school teacher married to an orthodox Muslim business family. Every time Rubina lay in the labour room writhing in pain with the nurses urging her to keep her breathing going and try and push hard, assuring her at times the doctors are on their way, or the baby would soon be delivered, some even scolding her for shouting and crying, she just prayed this would be her last. The psychological stress of again being a mother was so high, that Rubina had started to hate the concept of motherhood though she had loved to be one on the first two occasions. She had to give up her job, she had to go on producing at the behest of his father-in-law, a Muslim cleric who said if she didn’t she was violating the tenets of Quran.

But the truth is, Islamic medicine has known about birth control for centuries. Muslim writers like Al Razi (924AD) and Avicenna (980AD) refer to different methods of contraception. Even eight of the nine classic schools of Islam permit it. But more conservative Islam leaders have openly campaigned against the use of condoms or any birth control methods thus making population planning ineffective in many countries. It went to such monstrous proportions that in 2005 around 40 Islamic scholars from 20 countries across the globe urged fresh efforts to push family planning and make the reproductive growth better and healthy. There are a number of Hadith that indicate that the Prophet knew of birth control and approved it in appropriate circumstances. Hadith are said to describe and approve of the withdrawal method during coitus. Egyptian scholars have concluded that any method that has the same purpose of preventing conception is acceptable so long as it does not have a permanent effect. However contraception like sterilisation leading to a complete child free marriage is not acceptable in Islam.

The question of birth control is related to the basic view about sex. If someone relates sex to the original sin and equate it with evil and allow sexual intercourse only for the purpose of procreation then obviously they will be totally opposed to birth control. Allowing birth control would mean sex for pleasure. Like, the Roman Catholic Church is against birth control and prohibits contraceptives stating it goes against the philosophy of marriage.

But does Vatican have the courage to forbid intercourse with a pregnant wife or ban marriage of infertile men and women? They should have banned these as they too cannot produce pregnancy. Some churches had even advocated that a husband’s conjugal rights should be such that his wife should be sexually available, responsive and cooperative and cannot force the husband to use a condom.

Impregnating a woman thus had another intention. Subjugation. Just because females have been chosen by creation to bear, just like the flowering tree that bears fruits, child-bearing was used in many societies as a means to keep women within the confines of the house. The more she produced and at quicker intervals, the less would be her chance to try her hands out at other fields of life. Womanhood became directly proportional to a glorified motherhood, the sole purpose of a woman’s existence.

But it seems there are deep rooted political reasons as well. At a time the Russian government, the government of Lebanon and also the Israelis who ruled over Palestine, tried to stop Muslims from having children for they were afraid that they will gain majority by producing more children and hence will have a say in the government by issuing fatwas. In over populous countries like India where the quality of population declines due to uncontrolled births in families that cannot provide their children with basic needs, matching up religious sentiments with birth control can have dangerous consequences indeed.

And as a dear friend had once said its personal choice whether we go for a child-free marriage or not. Similarly it should be personal choice as to how many children a couple desires and undoubtedly the choice should be left to a woman as she is the one who goes through the tedious physical and psychological hardships of bringing a new life to this world. In the name of God so please stop using women as baby producing machines.